Sometimes you have to take a stand. You feel that you have no choice but to ‘draw a line in the sand.’ This line is a dangerous thing. As with all things of last resort it can inflict as much damage on yourself as it can those whom you are trying to protect yourself from. If you recall when Gandalf broke the bridge beneath the Balrog with his staff in the The Two Towers, it did not end well for him. But he saved his friends and things worked out. I like this, its ideal but if I have learned anything these past years is that the real world and the ideal one inside my head have very little in common. When I was younger I was prone to acting without thinking (emotionally). This led to many a time when I would draw ideal lines in the sand for one reason or the other - and then I would stick to it. Even if that meant cutting my nose off to spite my face, dammit I had my idealized world that I knew was right. Slowly it dawned on me that the real world doesn’t really care about the ideal world I created for it. The other thing that comes when you draw your line and take a stand and say no more X, Y and Z is that sometimes you get what you want. There are consequences to this. Most of which you can’t anticipate ahead of time. So in getting what you wanted, you also inherit all of the things to come when the world moves on. Maybe people don’t want to work with you later because you made their life more difficult by your stand taking. Maybe something else … life is complicated. So what to do? Have more strong opinions, weakly held. I don’t know where I first heard this but it is something I think about when I am considering drawing a line in the sand. It reminds me of what is most important to me and I can use it to question the foundations of beliefs underlying my opinions. This is a chance to put myself in the shoes or situation that is causing me to want to draw the line. By standing in their shoes I can objectively question my assumptions and understand their mindset. Sometimes this will only reinforce my position. But, it forces me to take a deep breath and think before I reach for the stick I’ll need to use to draw the line. In thinking there may be a better, less damaging way to move forward without drawing a line that forces everyone to choose a side. Once people choose a side they are either for you or against you. If they are against you it will be very difficult to work with them in the future. And life never stops, wheels turn and all that so perhaps its better to modify my (ideal) opinions instead of forcing them onto the real world.
6/25/2015 ~ 3 min read
